Liosuelo

So, where does retrograde season leave me? That’s what I’ve been grappling with this last week. How do I consolidate and package these feelings? I need an action plan for this period because I know that the next month will be tough without a plan.

I started by asking myself reflective questions because that’s how my mind works and gets stuck in places.

What are these creative projects? What is the root of my discontentment? Do I need to be in a new place? Are these work obligations holding me back? What spiritual work is this calling me to do?

What are these creative projects?

At the moment, I don’t feel inspired to create anything new, so I would instead continue with the ones on the back burner. I could finish editing my Camino Book, which is a massive effort because it requires me to shift the format from a travelogue to a memoir.

I have some short poetic abstract videos I can finish editing, but I need to figure out where to share this work. YouTube doesn’t feel like the right platform, but maybe I could enter them into a contest or festival as a body of work. I’ve played with the idea occasionally over the years but lacked the confidence.  Recently, my little brother (a budding photographer) entered his photography into his college paper, which was accepted. Which inspired me; I have nothing to be fearful of!

I could do a portrait series I’ve wanted to do for years. I can start in Mexico City but need a studio to take the photos. There is also the start of my street art Instagram page, which documents the beauty of all my travels. There is also a photo project on religious iconography – starting with Mexico City and Catholicism.

I also want to revamp my abandoned Bookstagram, but that feels boring! Finally, I want to start a writers’ Instagram account to house all my poetry and shorter-form content. I want to publish a book of poetry that I pull from first, but that seems super intimate. Also, social media is weird with creative things because I will judge the success of my work based on likes and followers!

Oh, (one more), finish the tarot/oracle deck I designed in London.

What is the root of my discontentment?

Mexico City is massive; I don’t enjoy living here anymore (more on that next question). Another root is the constant tension between me as an artist and someone who needs to make an income. How can I blend creativity, success, financial stability, and fulfillment? Can I? I also feel discontent because I am bored. At the beginning of the year, my job contracts presented challenges I had to solve, and now, not so much. I don’t mind being a task rabbit, but I get bored quickly when I am not “creating” from a place of inspiration outside the typical tasks.

Do I need to be in a new place?

Yes, I do. Mexico City has been great for me. Also, the country itself is incredible. The people, culture, depth of history, food, and freedom I feel here have been healing. Yet, with the pollution and weather changes in CDMX, I can’t stay here any longer. No city is easy to live in, but my nervous system feels overloaded when I leave the house. Plus, while cute, boho, and affordable, my apartment doesn’t give me the calm I need from a crowded and bustling city.

Honestly, I am not the most significant city person; I wish to live in the countryside or a small town and see people when I decide to! So, I know a move from here is imminent. Also, the dry season in CDMX is one of my least favorite times of the year. It is hot and dry, and for me, it becomes harder to breathe.

Should I go on a three-month jaunt to a new city or country that feels exciting and relaxing? I need to decide. Or should I stay, make the best of my situation, keep saving, and move for good by summer?

Are these work obligations holding me back?

They aren’t holding me back, but I ask myself if they are the best use of my time when they no longer stimulate me emotionally or intellectually. Should I find other career prospects that challenge my skill sets and teach me new things? I likely should!

What spiritual work is this calling me to do?

It is definitely forcing me to do grounding practices daily, which I haven’t. I can maintain many rituals and routines, but which one?

Should I do my manifestation candles?

Should I get back into visualizations and guided meditations?

Should I recite my Florence shin cards?

Should I make a new honey jar?

Also huge for me is that physical self-expression is spiritual. I am not the fittest self in Mexico. Between anxiety leaving the house and the unseasonable hot weather (like +10 above average), leaving the cocoon of home is tough. In London, I ran every day, rain or shine. In Germany, I biked around the city from morning to night.

I have wondered if I should try another Camino – maybe via de la Plata?

There are more questions I could ask myself, and I will over the next few days. However, right now, I know there is a transition for me. Into where? I don’t know.

I know that when I raise questions and put effort into them, I always find my way. So, I am committed to the process of seeking answers. I just really, really hope it doesn’t take all month!!