Pulling up the weeds

I’m in a good place. 

It’s nice writing, without the need to add an asterisk or a footnote.

Most of my days have been slow and calm. 

I am working towards my fitness goals, and it’s coming along. I am feeling better health-wise, and there’s a massive shift in my energy. I feel vibrant. I don’t feel as heavy down with sadness or anxiety. The clouds have lifted. 

I have been enjoying where I live more. 

There is a more profound sense of appreciation for the life I have carved for myself in the middle of SE Asia. 

I am spending more time on my porch

More time strolling lazily around the island 

More time gazing at the moon and stars 

More time taking note of the sounds of the birds I can only hear but never see 

This island has provided a safe space for my healing, and every day my partner and I look at each other and say, “can you believe we live here?”

I wonder if one day this will all become normal… the sun, the palm trees, the warmth, the cheap fruit, waking to the sound of farm animals… 

In a way, I don’t want it to become normal. I need to remind myself that it’s a choice to be here. It’s a choice every day to choose my happiness. It’s a choice not to run back to what is familiar. It’s a choice to keep pushing myself to heal and be honest about what needs stitching within me.

I left home for a reason, and I am living out that purpose. 

I remind myself daily of all the sacrifices I made to get here…lucky doesn’t get credit this time. 

Anyway, I am just feeling a renewed sense of hope.

I see every day the serendipitous aspects of my life. 

I am basking in the calmness of my daily routine. 

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