After my father died, I was desperate to find new ways to connect with him. Or god. The spirit realm. The universe. And all the names that describe the unseen.
I felt like I was grasping for him in hidden places. Did he hear my cries? Did he hear when I called his name as I rocked myself to sleep?
It led to me expanding my spiritual practice and exploring new ways of connecting with the world around me. I started looking into tarot cards and oracle decks by accident.
I was talking with someone about my grief, and she randomly said, “You know what! Spirit tells me to give you my goddess Oracle deck” I didn’t even know what that meant.
The first thought that came to my mind was, “this is witchcraft.” I grew up in a Christian household and just stopped being a Christian for the past four years.
The thing is when you break from a religion… you kind of never really do.
It’s like an old wound that leaves a small flesh tone scar. A small part of my psyche continues to hold onto the fearful aspects of my previous faith. They were the very fears that kept me in check for so long, to begin with.
But I promised myself that when I started to embark on my own spiritual journey outside of religion or what others told me, I would always listen to myself first.
I have always had excellent judgment and discernment and a strong sense of self. So I said, “if something doesn’t feel right. Then it isn’t. Don’t question this and remove yourself from the situation.”
And that’s what I always do. I know what aligns with my spirit, and I know what sits well, and I know what doesn’t.
So when she handed me the light blue box of cards, I remember exhaling. I felt okay. I didn’t feel any fear or apprehension as I opened to box. As I slowly took in the picture on each card, I knew that’s maybe these cards could have some more answers that I was desperately seeking.
It’s been almost two years now, and I have over a dozen different Oracle/tarot decks. And it’s a regular part of my spiritual practice. That sounds very serious, and really, more than anything, it’s fun.
It’s fun asking a question or not and flipping over a card and seeing what messages the card has for you. The cards have never been incorrect. That kind of can’t exist because it’s up to me to decide how the card is relevant to my life in that moment.
Oracle and tarot decks have been really useful in a world where I often feel alone. Or I don’t have a community of elders who can give me advice or guide me. It’s like the cards have given me my power back.
In the beginning, I only pulled cards when I had a pressing issue or some upsetting event, or an essential decision had to be made.
Now I just pull because it’s part of grounding routine, and it also helps me think introspectively.
I do what I call “general pulls.” (Not sure if I made that up). But I don’t have a question or thoughts before I shuffle and take a card.
Today, I used my Light Seers Deck, and one of the cards I pulled was “Page of Swords.”
This rendition of the card is compelling.
I feel like this girl. I think I’m on the precipitous of something great within myself. I started working on a project I have wanted to for years. I also have been reading and absorbing information like a fresh sponge right out the package.
I see myself almost approaching my unearthed interest and childhood desires with such curiosity and enthusiasm.
This card definitely affirms that and reminds me to stay delighted in learning.
It affirms that I need to keep sharing truthfully… like writing this. I was nervous about this piece because of what my Christian family or friends would think. But I am happy I decided to follow my own voice and live my truth.
And lastly, the message I receive today is to keep expanding my pursuits because the sky’s the limit.