Today, I spent my time by the ocean. I soaked my feet in the salty water.
Pretended like I was an MLB pitcher and tried to see how far I could pitch random pieces of shells and rocks in the ocean.
I also foraged and gathered incredible coral skeletons. I spent about 2-5 mins looking at each piece of coral. Astounded by their level of detail and intricate patterns. How can something so tiny have so much organizational structure?
I also laid in the sun, till the point I couldn’t decipher weather the heat was coming from the sun or my chest.
My mom would always joke with my dad that he needed to go to the beach and soak it in the salt water and try to “cut” his bad luck. She felt like the salty ocean water would help lift some of the baggage he was holding onto or atleast the bruja done on him.
Immediately, we would all erupt in laugher – my mom, me, my sister, and brother, and even him! We would laugh so loud.
We shouldn’t have been laughing. Instead, we should have packed in the car and dove headfirst into the waves. As a family. We were such a strong family, so much love, so much joy, so much fun. Imagine if we could have healed together?
But back to my dad – in truth I think he could have used some time by the ocean. I wonder if he had more moments like the ones I had today, if he would still be here.
All in all, I am grateful for days like this, when I miss my family or familiar places like the U.S or the Bay or our old cars or BK or 274 (ancestral brownstone) or Prospect Park, days like this remind me that I was not going to heal by remaining at “home” or staying in my normal comforts.
I needed this foreign place, I needed Thailand. Being in Thailand during this time, has really saved my life. I get to do what my dad didn’t get a chance to.